Am i a loser for online dating
I tried Match, Chemistry, e Harmony, Nerve, American Singles, Matchmaker… What’s similar is that the users always think that they’ve got it under control, and that nobody’s getting hurt in the process. There’s a delusional aspect to successful online dating—one that I’ve embodied—one that I’ve seen in my clients as well.
Why would you write to the guy who makes $50K when you could write to the guy who makes $150K? People always ask me why I am still single, I get all the popular comments, like “Oh, that’s a shame, still single at your age”. There is nothing wrong with me, I’m athletic, been told I am attractive, outgoing, and I enjoy sports, and all sorts of out door activities, and have a great circle of friends, so why after all this time have I not met anyone? I’ve dated on and off for a few months to a year, only to have things crash and burn for one reason or another. I’ve tried the online dating, only to become seriously jaded by it all. I’m tired of friends telling me that when I least expect it, I will meet someone great, well, I have not been expecting it, and it never came. 🙁 Dear Lauren, I’m reminded of a story that Rich Gosse, the founder of American Singles, once shared with me. I’m 42, and have never been married, and I guess that I have been dating idiots, or men who are not even dating material for the last 10 years.You want marriage, you want kids, you’re ready for love. Dozens of women parade across your screen, each younger, smarter, more attractive, more tantalizing than the last.Suddenly, you’re corresponding with 12 people online, have five phone numbers, and three dates scheduled in a weekend.I don’t suddenly get smarter if I propose to my girlfriend.
And if she dumped me, I wouldn’t suddenly get dumber.
Or the 5’6” guy, when there’s bound to be a 5’10” guy somewhere in the system?
In real life, we meet people organically, feel attraction and learn about them later.
This is not the GOAL, but an almost uncontrollable byproduct of the choice and volume inherent in online dating.
And this is what gets lost on all the people who say that every man’s a player who’s just out to get laid.
There are a number of people who are somewhat weak and needy.