One thing about masks is that we continue to wear them because they work.
They make us question ourselves as to why our parents don’t like or appreciate us as we are.Maybe as a child, you reached out to Mommy for a hug and she pushed you away.Maybe you waited hours for Daddy to come home to show him a card you made just for him, only for him to wave you away and lock himself in his room without any greeting or acknowledgement.We are called to evangelize the lost, not be intimate with them.There is nothing wrong with building quality friendships with unbelievers, but that is as far as it should go.And that made Daddy show you off and give you attention.
While it is sad that some parents do not love their children unconditionally, it is a reality that must be accepted.
Yet despite our desperate need and desire to connect, why come so few of us achieve it?
I believe the reason we cannot achieve true intimacy is because our past hurts “force” us to put on masks.
I believe most of us have enjoyed the temporary joys of dating and making out and other conventions of relationships. After watching different movies about life in the penitentiary, I discovered that a man would rather be in general population where he is in danger of being shanked (stabbed) or violently sodomized against his will than to be locked up in solitary confinement.
And when those memories are painful and those emotions are hurt by people that we love, we make a decision – consciously or subconsciously – to never let anyone hurt us like that again.
So we try to alter our real, “unlovable” selves so as to prevent being rejected again for who we really are.