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Interracial dating and marriage challenges

interracial dating and marriage challenges-76

They may be less comfortable with closeness and trust, find it difficult to depend on others or be depended upon.

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Conflict can raise your level of negativity and undermine mutuality.Couples report that "the spark is gone," or that while they still love each other, they are no longer "in love" or have "grown apart."Some couples think that starting a family together will reinforce their bond. They may stay together because of their kids, but their tie to each other is actually diluted as their attachment to their children displaces their connection to each other.The fact is that nature never intended for the exhilarating feelings that you experience when falling in love to endure with the same intensity over time.Those whose early attachments were particularly unreliable tend to be preoccupied and obsessive in relationships, needy and vulnerable, and experience difficulty getting as close to others as they would like.They bond easily, but their relationships are the least durable.But now that couples postpone marriage and often live together, it is common for passion to subside--often well before the wedding or soon thereafter.

Nature intends our initial, temporary falling-in-love bonding period to be replaced by a longer-term attachment between partners--with a totally different underlying brain chemistry (based on oxytocin and vasopressin).

What is surprising for many couples, though, is the unexpected vulnerability of their initial powerful attachment.

The biggest mistake that couples make is to take their bond for granted by assuming that their connection will stay strong because they love each other or with 'hard work.' But they don't have an intentional strategy to maintain the strength of their union.

And it's best to start early, just when you can't believe that you'll ever need it. Couples who slip below five-to-one have a hard time restoring the balance. Don't allow prolonged periods of resentment to persist.

Daily, non-stressful communication--continuing to keep up with each other's lives--is another bonding activity.

You'll be surprised how the anticipation will whet your appetite--just like it did when you were dating.