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Invalidating news

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Saying someone did a great job when they didn’t or that your friends loved them when they didn’t is hoovering.

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Very few would purposefully invalidate someone else.Self-invalidation and invalidation by others make recovery from depression and anxiety particularly difficult.Some believe that invalidation is a major contributor to emotional disorders.Invalidation disrupts relationships and creates emotional distance.When people invalidate themselves, they create alienation from the self and make building their identity very challenging.Nonverbal self-invalidation is working too much, shopping too much or otherwise not paying attention to your own feelings, thoughts, needs and wants. It’s about accepting someone else’s internal experience as valid and understandable.

Replacing Invalidation with Validation The best way to stop invalidating others or yourself is by practicing validation.

It’s like saying they know you as well as you know you, so they don’t ask, they assume, and may even tell how you think and feel.

Misunderstanding What it Means to Validate: Sometimes people invalidate because they believe if they validate they are agreeing.

Still the message is to not feel what you are feeling.

Nonverbal Invalidation Nonverbal invalidation is powerful and includes rolling of the eyes and drumming of fingers in an impatient way.

Or it can be non verbal: like rolling your eyes, looking at your watch, or drumming your fingers while someone is talking to you.