Single motherhood and dating
I’ve felt no panic to “settle” for someone with whom the connection’s not quite there.And I have come to understand loneliness, not as a condition that single people are “condemned to” (as Justice Anthony Kennedy cast it in the Supreme Court’s decision), but as a natural part of life that all people — single and married — experience.
Still, I took it like a champ — at least, I thought so. “I’m not sure I’m ready to date again, but it’s good to get back in there, right? But, surprising myself, I answered in a string of rushed syllables: “I want a silver arrow who shoots across the sky knowing exactly where he’s going! ” I asked him, announcing that I’d reinstated my Tinder account. [Other perspectives: ] I was fortunate to be employed throughout the recession that began in 2007 and never boomeranged back to my parents’ house in my 20s, but millions of my fellow millennials have and continue to do so.Even if you have steady work in your 20s, the beginning of a career can be marked with uncertainty over the future and questions about what to do with your professional life.Explore these other perspectives: Bella De Paulo: Everything you think you know about single people is wrong Sarah Wright: Why it’s time to stop glorifying marriage Stephanie Coontz: Single or married: Does it really matter anymore?
Eve Tushnet: Being single shouldn’t mean being alone Michael Cobb: Advertisers want you to hate being single.
Which also means I have more time and energy to date.
My new acquaintance’s comment at that party was in reference to what she views as a bleak dating scene for 30-something women.
In fact, I believe that learning to cope with loneliness is a marker of adulthood, on par with becoming financially independent or learning to live alone.
Most important, my life is full with or without a partner: something I didn’t necessarily foresee in my 20s when I thought about what it might be like to be single in my 30s.
I may be looking for a partner, but I know that my life’s happiness doesn’t depend on finding one.