What to say when contacting online dating
All of our top dating apps use an algorithm to match you with people you should be compatible with and interested in — and keep those “automatic nos” out of your feed.
We can confidently recommend Ok Cupid, Match.com, Tinder, and Bumble.Krissy Dolor, the director of dating at e Flirt says, “When online dating, people skim through profiles, so it’s important to stand out in the crowd.Avoid being generic with clichés like ‘live, laugh, love’ or ‘I like to laugh and have fun.’” One way for a dating app or site to help users avoid that trap is to offer lots of fill-in-the-blanks and multiple-choice questions — that way, you don’t have to come up with any clever turns of phrase.Even though we received fewer messages compared to other sites, we rated 40 percent “good” — the most out of the seven sites we tested.That’s in large part because only mutual matches can message each other: both parties have to “swipe right” before they can say hello, which cuts way down on spam.But of course, without your voice, it’s hard for your personality to shine through in your profile.
The best ones strike a balance between both approaches.
But almost all of them were suspiciously short, spammy, or just plain rude.
Zoosk took it one step further — you’ll pay a monthly subscription for low-quality matches.
Since our tester was a straight woman, her experience with online dating is weighted more toward receiving messages than sending messages.
(According to a study from Ok Cupid, the majority of women don’t send the first message in online dating conversations — but they get great results when they do.) To keep our judgments as objective as possible, we used a rubric to categorize each message: Unfortunately — but perhaps not all that surprisingly — the majority of the messages we received on traditional dating sites were mediocre or downright bad. To send someone a message, both users have to indicate they’re interested by “swiping right” on their profile.
We like Ok Cupid's whole package — a huge user base, slick interface, the fact that it’s free — but its real strength lies in its robust matching algorithm.